I feel (not so) good...

I SoOoOo low in morale...

Have a strong sense of "du-lan" to the extend of a lost of direction...
This has been affect my day to day performance... knowing this had been trying to resolve this...

After much understanding, I'd realised that my "du-lan-ness" was and is due to the prolong and perpetual period of being taken for granted... in all aspects of life...

People who know me will know I tend to be taken advantage and I'm okay with that...
However, I realised that when putting much efforts to be "taken advantage", I really expect some form of appreciation...

An example will be my efforts to innovate and better cross department workflow...
As I'm falling sick lately, I'd requested support to be given and started pushing back to the individual department... since I'd already established a comprehensive process...
Yet, it back fire on me... turn out this IS part of my work... crazy.. when the freaking head of department don't even remember who am I...
Am I that dumb?

The same goes for the relocation / promotion / salary revision that was promise that never happened...

Many other things, other than work, like organising holiday trip or gathering etc...
Just felt very imbalance to see how much I'd put in when others don't...
Even worst, they don't even care... when confronted... it seems to had became my JOB...

Why am I making so much efforts and energy into what seems my JOB (actually not) and losing my own stuffs?
How can I balance my life, wants & desires, people I care & work?
My work is still my pride, friends & family is what I hold close... but are they worth my suffering???

New Hair Cut

Not really new hair cut but lazy to post it... :)

Loans...

I'm so surprised...
I thought HE will be back on track after the $ I'd "loan" him...

Sad to say, there are just jerks around who will never learnt...
Wasting all the money on girls...

I give up... no chance of getting the money back...
I should had jolly well spend it on girls myself~!

crazy... life is so funny... i work hard and yet... sighz!

Keeping my faith strong...

Feeling low...

Feeling really low... in many ways...

Still haven't fully recover from my illness and the fact that my relocation plans were placed on hold...

Now, I'm feeling the $ crush... low in cashflow...
Spend a bucket for the coming Taiwan-Taipei and another loan package for a "fren" (SW).
Needless to say, I'm still pretty low from high expenditure on October...

:<

When will I reach rock bottom? I need to rebounce soon..

Updates....

It's been awhile...
Things had been crazy...

Rouhui got married...
Mark is getting married and moving to the states...
Towliang is still puhsing for his relocation...
Ann Zai change gf again to the point i dunno who is who...
Ming just bought his swift sports and working on his modifications now...
Song is happy and selling rice @ golden shoe market...
Desmond is selling wantan mee @ golen shoe market...

So many things so little time to update...

Anyway for me.. I'm sick... just went back to army yesterday to get downgrade...
sighzZz