Year-End Party...

A picture speaks a thousand words...

I feel (not so) good...

I SoOoOo low in morale...

Have a strong sense of "du-lan" to the extend of a lost of direction...
This has been affect my day to day performance... knowing this had been trying to resolve this...

After much understanding, I'd realised that my "du-lan-ness" was and is due to the prolong and perpetual period of being taken for granted... in all aspects of life...

People who know me will know I tend to be taken advantage and I'm okay with that...
However, I realised that when putting much efforts to be "taken advantage", I really expect some form of appreciation...

An example will be my efforts to innovate and better cross department workflow...
As I'm falling sick lately, I'd requested support to be given and started pushing back to the individual department... since I'd already established a comprehensive process...
Yet, it back fire on me... turn out this IS part of my work... crazy.. when the freaking head of department don't even remember who am I...
Am I that dumb?

The same goes for the relocation / promotion / salary revision that was promise that never happened...

Many other things, other than work, like organising holiday trip or gathering etc...
Just felt very imbalance to see how much I'd put in when others don't...
Even worst, they don't even care... when confronted... it seems to had became my JOB...

Why am I making so much efforts and energy into what seems my JOB (actually not) and losing my own stuffs?
How can I balance my life, wants & desires, people I care & work?
My work is still my pride, friends & family is what I hold close... but are they worth my suffering???

New Hair Cut

Not really new hair cut but lazy to post it... :)

Loans...

I'm so surprised...
I thought HE will be back on track after the $ I'd "loan" him...

Sad to say, there are just jerks around who will never learnt...
Wasting all the money on girls...

I give up... no chance of getting the money back...
I should had jolly well spend it on girls myself~!

crazy... life is so funny... i work hard and yet... sighz!

Keeping my faith strong...

Feeling low...

Feeling really low... in many ways...

Still haven't fully recover from my illness and the fact that my relocation plans were placed on hold...

Now, I'm feeling the $ crush... low in cashflow...
Spend a bucket for the coming Taiwan-Taipei and another loan package for a "fren" (SW).
Needless to say, I'm still pretty low from high expenditure on October...

:<

When will I reach rock bottom? I need to rebounce soon..

Updates....

It's been awhile...
Things had been crazy...

Rouhui got married...
Mark is getting married and moving to the states...
Towliang is still puhsing for his relocation...
Ann Zai change gf again to the point i dunno who is who...
Ming just bought his swift sports and working on his modifications now...
Song is happy and selling rice @ golden shoe market...
Desmond is selling wantan mee @ golen shoe market...

So many things so little time to update...

Anyway for me.. I'm sick... just went back to army yesterday to get downgrade...
sighzZz

Relocation

The thought of relocation has been in the air for awhile now...
Things aren't looking good since they can't really pay as well due to the economy down turn back in the US...

Still, I'd more or less decision to leave SG...

The thought process was simple for me...
It isn't why I should go but more of why should I stay...

I'd realised that there is little or nothing much holding me back in Singapore...
This finding is actually pretty disturbing to me...
Maybe I'm becoming more transnational or just maybe I don't have a life...

Either way, this isn't what I'd planned for myself...
Just wondering where did I made a wrong turn...

Wank Bang...

Went to do some banking at JEC yesterday noon and was rather disturb with what I saw...
Felt really weak while I was driving towards Bt Timah for pool... of coz, I got involved (again) in an accident... which is my fault...

Still i managed to reach Bt Timah and "enjoy" my pool game...

Things are just not turning up well for me...
I'm really tired...

Meeting the team

Went for the global summit and finally had the chance to meet the whole team...

I really enjoyed myself , specially all the cross geo and specialisation sharing had given me tons of take-aways...

Most of the team members were so eager to learn (maybe to impressed) has rekindle my passionate of my work...

Throughout the summit I made great efforts to interact and learn from everyone... sharing my experiences...

Eventually, I had an additional take-away from the organiser; Sliver Contributor of the Summit 2008

Thank you all... the fun... the lessons... the chance... the experiences

... ... too bad this should be the last one for me...

My India Trip

Just back from India...
Heard so many things bad about India... still I was pretty comfortable there...

I'd enjoyed my time and truly felt appreciated...

The best feelings in the world, for me, is being able to help others who appreciates your assistance...

Went visiting Taj... It's really a great work on mankind...
An idealistic design with the help of a country's efforts over 22 years...
The feelings were mixed between being envy of the love the king had and reminded the harsh fact of life of the king...

I'll work my best to assist India Portfolio to excel other portfolio...

Cashflow Problem

Never tot I'll be having such issue...
Cash Issue...

Had been rather below the water lately... started spending money without control...
thinking that this could actually make me feel better...

Maybe for a couple of hours, and back feeling meaningless... eventually when all the cash flow had been dried out... I felt worst...

Using cash as a form of mood treatment can never work unless you have an endless source of wealth... ... ...

Nearer to my Bday and my dayz are getting darker and darker...

It's been awhile since I'd updated...
Reason being, as always, I was so packed with work and catching up my personal stuffs...
This time round, I was pretty sick too... had the most injections ever within a couple of days...
Things are looking bright for me... need to better look after myself...

Atypical moi, my statements bares hidden meanings... I heading India right after my birthday for business and a day of Taj...
Excited but moody, I guess...

Be Smart, Don't Act Smart

The road of Self Discovery is ever constant, I'd managed to find out something about myself. In a way, I'm atypcial guy who goes for solution then empathy.
So discussions I'll try to make comments and recommendations, even though I make myself look silly. I really don't mind showing others how dumb I am, since I treat it as part of my learning curve... without "not knowing" you'll never know.

My point here is that I'm not trying to act smart and give solutions to the everyone, but trying to share my thoughts and hopeful someone smarter could help develop that tiny thought of mine...

Still, I'd learnt own perceptions often differs from the others... I'll try to keep my comments to myself... Use my own mind to develop my thoughts...

File-Sharing is a crime
Thought-Sharing is deviant

Haven't been blogging

HmMm haven't been updating the blog since I hate to be lamenting over blog...
Especially when I read back my blog and get a refreshment of all the back memories...

Basically, I'm pretty worn out by everything... losing my stances I guess...

:)

Go Go... Jia you...

Near Accident

Was late for work this morning again...

Got really pissed with the traffic users this morning... they are really taking their own sweet time, not always a good thing, and not following the traffic rules & regulations~!

I almost with an accident... sighzzz

What a day..... some more it's freaking cold today~!

My New Ride M3

This is what kept me going...

故天将降大任于是人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。

Author 孟子

全文：
舜发于畎亩之中，傅说举于版筑之中，胶鬲举于鱼盐之中，管夷吾举于士，孙叔敖举于海，百里奚举于市。故天将降大任于是人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。
人恒过，然后能改；困于心，衡于虑，而后作；征于色，发于声，而后喻。入则无法家拂士，出则无敌国外患者，国恒亡。

Mon K' ... ...

Wanted to head down to Bean to do my few reports ovr the weekend...

To my surprise, this is what I saw when I was about to drive off...

Happy Chinese New Year~!

It wasn't that good a an evening last night, but always start a day feeling fresh...

Great morning... the sun was bright, the roads were smooth... I love the glare in my eyes... slightly cold weather for my comfort...

Things weren't exactly comfortable in office recently as well... watching people come and go, the turnover is way beyond norm (personal thinking)...
Nothing wrong... but just when everything was starting to be on track...
Not that this affect my work, I believe I'm still performing regradless of my many other problems, but it does dampen the mood and working environment...

Guess the market was just too good... or?
hMmMm...

Blogging now while waiting for the pictures of my k' to be in from TC... putting her up for sale... really no choice... but she gotta go... just when... when the price is right...

No matter what, it's CHINESE NEW YEAR... hahahaha I'm not that excited but I think i should be... :)

Oh ya... thanks everyone, but I'd just be rejected by the Japan Em... :)

Moving Forward...

Had been trying to do a reality check on myself before taking the next step moving forward...

Come to understand that given my lack of family support etc and my below average childhood... I had to fight for every bits that I hold now, and overly protective on everything...

Like every late bloomers, I am eager to make up lost time, working doubly hard trying to be on par with the rest of my peers...

Then it dawned upon me that I'm like a frog climbing up and wet cliff... I'm heading no where... to make it worst, the moment I stop trying, I'll fall back down...

I'm really tired and would love to take a break from all the work and efforts, but I could never let the efforts of all these years go... and would I ever be able be back on track?

I wonder...

Looking at my frens who led a willful teen age, they are able to catch up with sheer determination and family support... I guess I'm not as lucky...

So what should my next step be....

Nice gifts...

Some pretty nice and cool gifts...
(Not in order of preferrence)


Got this shirt from my Boss...
this "Ang Mo" got really fine taste...
just maybe 1/2 a size too big, but really nice shirt...
*Worn this today to work and everyone kept asking where I'm going later this evening... LOL...


This is cute... Got this from a mentor who left the company...
Without question the MS Monkey is Moi... but read the yellow sign carefully...

Oh ya, she gave me this book "The Monk who sold his Ferrari" really nice book... just 1/3 through, but would really find time to finish it...
If you have time to grab it...

I love the Sun~!

Received complaints that this blog has not been updated for awhile... let's do some blog-ing this sunny morning...

Managed to work from home yesterday... enjoy the feeling of going out with the (sky) lights on...
Had been setting off for work before the sun rises and knock off way after the sun has set... really miss the sunny afternoons...

The last thing I'll do is to take the sun for granted...
Too many Gen-Y group doesn't appreciate the things in life...
All they want is to live for the moment... Taking everything around for granted...

Anyway went to get a hair cut alone... blah blah blah...
Went to cafe to do work... blah blah blah...

Great feeling~!
Good day~!